Every player has bad games: a missed shot, a mistake that led to a goal, a loss that stings. As a coach, I’ve learned that what happens in the car on the way home can matter more than the game itself. Here’s what we share with PSS parents.
Give it time
Right after a game, kids are tired, emotional and often hungry. That’s not the moment to break down what went wrong. Let them lead. If they want to talk, listen. If they don’t, a snack and some quiet is perfectly fine.
One sentence that helps
Many coaches and sports psychologists recommend one simple sentence: “I love watching you play.” It tells your child that your love doesn’t depend on the result, and it takes the pressure off.
What to say
- ✓“I love watching you play.”
- ✓“What was the most fun part today?”
- ✓“I saw you keep working hard even when it was tough.”
- ✓“What do you want to work on this week?” (later, not right away)
What to avoid
- ✓Replaying every mistake.
- ✓Criticizing the coach, the referee or teammates in front of your child.
- ✓Comparing them to other players.
- ✓Coaching from the car. Leave the soccer coaching to the coaches, and be the parent.
Losing well is a skill
Learning to lose with grace, shake hands, and come back the next week ready to work is one of the most valuable things sports teach. Kids learn it best when they see the adults around them do it too.
At Peace Soccer School, we talk about this with our players often. Our devotionals draw on the Sermon on the Mount, and humility, perseverance and respect for opponents are part of how we coach, win or lose.
When to talk to the coach
If your child is losing their love for the game, seems anxious before games, or something is bothering them about the team, talk to the coach privately, not right after a game. A good coach will want to know and will work with you.
